60 Horrible Pickup Lines Women Hate The Most

If you want to attract a girl, using pickup lines is not the best option. Most females are turned off by guys who start a conversation with stupid and stereotyped phrases. When men try too hard to win a lady, they usually look ridiculous and foolish. You can use pickup lines only if you 100% sure it’s funny and won’t make a girl want to vomit. But first of all, remember some phrases you should never use. These are the worst.

No fruits, vegetables, flowers, and any other objects please

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cutecumber!

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple!

If you were a flower, you’d be a damndelion!

If you were a vegetable, I’d pull the plug.

Are you an orphanage? Cause I want to give you kids.

Are you sandpaper? Cause I want you to rub my wood.

Are you an antiquar? Cause I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.

Are you an elevator? Because I want to go down on you.

If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.

If I were a watermelon, what would you do with my seed? Spit or swallow?

Never mention parents and relatives

Is your daddy a baker? Cause you got a nice set of buns.

Hey girl, is your daddy in prison? Cause if I was your daddy, I’d be in prison.

You have a better body than my dead great-grandmother.

You remind me of my sister. Do you want to get laid?

You’re hotter than my daughter.

Is your dad a cement mixer. Cause you are making me hard?

Don’t be pathetic

I’m afraid of the dark. Will you sleep in my bed with me tonight?

Hey, baby. I just shit my pants, can I get in yours?

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have sex within the next half hour.

I may not be the most handsome guy in here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can’t hold it in.

I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into that motel room across the street.

I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

I lost my virginity ! Can I have yours?

Be careful with girls’ legs

Nice legs. What time do they open?

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?

The word of the day is legs. Let’s go to my house and spread the word.

You look like a swan. You have skinny legs and a fat ass.


No science

I’m a man! You’re a woman! You do the math!

You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you.

Hey baby, want to socialize your means of reproduction?

Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains 2 calories?

Don’t be an arrogant jerk

Do you have a boyfriend? That’s ok. I’m not the jealous type.

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

I am not one of your fried chicken tramps!

Burger King isn’t the only thing that is king-sized…

Do you work at the post office? Cause I see you checking out my package.

Do you work at subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

I have a job for you but it might “blow.”

My shirt would look great on your bedroom floor.

I’m like a Rubik’s Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.

So, which eggs do you prefer: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

Hello! My boy in the pants likes you!

I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition… In my pants.

Did you know smiling is the second best thing you can do with your lips?

Get out of your life and into my bed!

Why don’t you come here, sit on my lap, and then we can talk about the first thing that pops up?

I’m going to have sex with you tonight; you might as well be there to enjoy it.

Honey, I’m like a firefighter, I find them hot and leave them soaking wet.

I’m a pussy-fist… err, pacifist, that’s what I meant.

These pickup lines are even worse

I Just found out the FBI wants to steal my penis. Do you mind if I hide it inside you?

What if I told you that I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus?

I’ve been waiting for you to be legal since you were a little girl.

I want you to have my abortion.

You know what I like in a woman? My cock.

Do you have pet insurance? Cause I’m going, destroying your pussy.

I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going inside you.



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